The Social Media Strife

Over the past two weeks I’ve been seeing posts about a movie which was praised and shredded over the social media. And then there was the Year one anniversary of a great person where people switched from the movie mindset to praying to the soul in the sky.

I was being kind of oblivious to the this posting my own thoughts over the social media. One of the things that recurred throughout this flow of posts is Conflict of opinion. On one side I saw people brawl about the movie being great and not, one group was quarreling about why the star was not used properly, one about the director being an amateur. From afar this all looked like it was just a social media scuffle over things, but looking deep inside, I saw some taking this seriously. In fact, I happen to witness a disagreement between two people in real life extending from their social media dispute. The beauty of this is that, it might rise between any two people, thickest of friends or two random people.

Also over a period of time I have found people trying to push in their thoughts and opinions into someone else’s perspective, even I am guilty of doing it a few rare times.

I also happen to notice how people handle this conflict of interest, the most common method is retort back. Though giving back a snappy answer is not a great solution, it merely blows it up.

Another way is ignoring the invader or asking them to ignore, but is this the right method to handle idea invasion? No, would be my answer. Let me tell you why, recently I posted something and there was a small bout about the perspective. I slyly asked the person to fuck off by asking to ignore the post since it was the public social media, the reply asked told me that the person can choose to not ignore since it’s the ‘Public’ social media. I got annoyed for a moment but I realized that the reply was as true as my answer. It’s a public forum and everyone has the right to be there and respond as much they have the right to ignore and move on.

This was a huge slap to my perspective. Ignorance was definitely not the best option.

So there I was scratching my brain on how to handle about conflict of thoughts. Is the education a reason for this? It can’t be, I have witnessed both uneducated and educated having same idea. Is it the perspective? Maybe not, every perspective is a new way to approach something. Is it the mindset? Possibly. But its highly debatable.

Some two meals and a night’s sleep later It struck me, The Test of Socrates.

It is said that Socrates always ask 3 questions to anyone who gossips. The questions or as follows,

1. The Test of Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell is true?

2. The Test of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell something good?

3. The filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me going to be useful?

Now to this I want to add another question,

4. The Test of Closure. Passing the above 3, how satisfied are you about your own thought?

If people manage to get past beyond all the 4 barriers, it is safe to say that your idea is right. So far I have managed to pass this 4 questions only once. Let the ideas flow.

~Perspective?

The Essential Change

For the past few days the internet has been buzzing about a murder case that happened in Nungambakkam railway station. Initially it was shocking and the shock subsided few gradually. Like the people that stood around when the event had happened, I was being another passer-by, only difference being, I was sitting in my home and even more, I was arguing with myself of how I would have reacted in that situation. I was slightly angry that people around her did not react to the murder when it happened. Then my mind dismissed that thought saying that I would’ve probably done the same, this argument was backed by my emotional part of my mind. 
Then my mind moved on to the killer’s view, back when I had this thought, he was not caught, there wasn’t even a proper picture of him. With the social rumour mill circulating images of random people depicting them as the killer, I was highly sceptical that the police would ever capture him. But they did.
I thought the news of the death and the event was shocking, but the reason and what he actually wanted to do traumatized me. The news told me that he was in love with her and she politely refused him a few times. She had refused him with one of the few reasons being his personality. 
Angered by her reason he wanted to hack her mouth for he felt that she insulted him. He was successful, he also overachieved. 
I’m not going to stay here arguing if what he did was right, but I’ve tried my best on finding a solution of how to handle it. 
The major reason of why he killed her is very apparently ‘Anger from love’. But what causes this anger and love? Emotions.
Emotion Definition according to Wikipedia. 
“Emotion, in everyday speech, is any relatively brief conscious experience characterized by intense mental activity and a high degree of pleasure or displeasure.[1][2] Scientific discourse has drifted to other meanings and there is no consensus on a definition “
As the definition states emotion cannot be defined easily, or at least comprehending emotions is not easy. 
Now you might wonder if I’m asking people to block emotions, No, that is not possible and that is not what should be done. You cannot possibly hold in the basic instinct that was developed from millions of years of evolution. 
Rather If and If only there was a proper guidance to show that feeling or emotion in any way that is not harmful to the person or the people around him. This might sound like a far-fetched idea but I feel this can be achieved.
Not trying to justify the killer, but he must’ve had uncontrolled emotions and feelings bubbling inside of him and finally spitting out the most unstable of all feelings; Anger. 
Feelings are like colours, if you mix them all you get colour ‘black’. Mix the right colours you get pure white light. 
This anger grew and made him take a life. If only he had a way to show this anger, if he had a person to control him he might’ve come out differently. But ungated emotions lead to whatever mustn’t have happened.
Whom do we blame here? 
His parents for not guiding him and his emotions properly? Or himself for not understanding another person’s feelings? 
No.
I blame Two things. Education and society.
These two and so intricately entwined that they play a major role in making a person.
Our education hasn’t changed as much as people have changed, hell even the syllabus is outdated. 
As much as our education is teaching us about technology, it has failed to show us how to properly handle our emotions and feelings. I’m not asking for Gurukulam format of education to come back, but something that lets us control the flow of our feelings can be implemented.
Now society plays a major role in this kill. Our modern society has grown abundantly in all the wrong departments. The major culprit is the mind-set of the society, people want to avoid murders from love but still oppose love, even a conversation about love is prohibited still. Where would a young adult go with all those emotions inside him? 
Some parents are so set on the concept that love is not good everything related to its harmful for life. I hope this changes someday. 
Had this been addressed before it had become cancerous, lot of murders could’ve been avoided. At this point I do not know If my idea would work or if it is the right one. But a change in mind-set is definitely needed.
~May all the souls rest in peace.

la réalité de vivre

I finished with the following line a year back on 2015, April 2 on my post titled Joie De Vivre.

“Now I, the writer of this post, is standing after previous line in life, in reality.

If I'm still writing after four years, maybe I'll tell you what happens after this.”

When I wrote this post I hoped to come back after 4 years only. I thought 4 years would be an appropriate time interval for some significant changes to take place, I thought nothing much would change for at least a year or two.

Wow, I’ve never been so wrong in my life.

That ‘wow’ is merely an understatement of the changes that have taken place.

The next 12 months we’re a roller coaster of changes, paradigm shifts, ideal revolutions and transformations that would hopefully serve as a launch pad for greater life.

The Job Quest

After the exams you’d have a 2-month buffer period to stretch out a bit.

People who have been already placed in begin their months long wait, looking at their mailboxes and post-box every now and then.

Those haven’t, begin their hunt for job.

(note: I won’t be writing about people who are pursuing a post graduate degree since I have no means to know what they experience. Hope you people do well.)

Hunting for a job is one of the most eye-opening experiences in your life. You might’ve been one of the most admired seniors of your juniors, or one of the most respected student in your class. None of that matters. You’re a person who finished his degree and waiting to get placed and at the company’s mercy. You’re basically an unemployed person. Depending on your major you’d want to choose your IT company, and- oh yeah core jobs are a dream for many, even If you get one, the pay would make you cringe.

Those who got a good paying core job, bless you.

People who are fortunate to get a job within a few weeks of results have been spared of the chagrin and dismay of being unemployed.

Those who we’re unfortunate enough not to get a job within the first 6 months are put through 7 circles of unemployment hell. Opprobrious words will be heard and disgrace will fall upon you slowly. Most parents support you but you will be eye-candy for your relatives. They will pick you apart in functions and through phone calls, which will start reflecting in your parent’s face over time. You can’t blame them though. After going through so many pitfalls and breaking multiple barriers you end up in a job eventually.

In between, there are people like me. We have tried our hand at everything. Post graduate preparations, actions for abroad studies, start-up efforts, thoughts to shun the degree and follow passion and more.

(note: I prepared for Local and Abroad post graduate degrees, succeeded in achieving a good score for the local PG but left to do a job in IT. I also had thoughts of doing a degree for my passion, but hey, life happens)

If you believe that your life is set, then you’re in for a big surprise.

Welcome to real life – The job-honeymoon chunk.

This part is the best part of any job, the first 2 months.  It will a different kind of joy when you receive your first salary. One of those Goundamani dialogues flashes past in my mind’s eye. Well yes you do feel like buying everything you see. You gift parents, even your siblings. You feel like someone attached a pair of wings and added in a jetpack. You meet, greet and treat all your friends.

You’ll love your job; you’ll always be talking about it. You’ll love everybody in the job, your colleagues would be the coolest people you know. The days would seem like a scene out of a spring day in cartoons with all the slow motion singing, flowers blooming and stuff.

The first 2 months of job would go in a bliss of joy.  Salaries would be totally emptied on stuff you wished to buy for a long time. You hope to find all those relatives and ask them to shove it—uh no. Life will be fun.

Welcome to real life – The sledge hammer.

Why have I named this part The sledge hammer?

Kevin spacey says this to the protagonist in a movie, “Wanting people to listen, you can't just tap them on the shoulder anymore. You have to hit them with a sledgehammer, and then you'll notice you've got their strict attention.”

This is exactly what life does to you. Life begins to show its true colours right when you begin college, if you had learnt the knacks and the tricks of life, you’re somewhat safe from its unexpected smack downs. But keep on ignoring the signs and symbols, the fact that life is not a nice person will hit you harder than you imagine. A normal day might end up very differently. This one day can break the person that you’re. This one day is your sledge hammer.

You never know what will happen, you simply might’ve been not able to reply a text to your best friend since you we’re in office caught up in work. He or she might think that you have changed you don’t need them anymore, while the truth is otherwise, a month later you’d start noticing your friend doesn’t talk to you anymore, yeah it takes a month to notice, by then all is done. Relationships break in a matter of few minutes.

There is one other thing that you’ll realize, politics is real, very real. Not only in office but also in real life. However noble you might be you will be pulled into this cesspool and asked to be a part of it, wait, you will be forced to be a part of it.

By this time waking up every day and pushing yourself to work would be strenuous task. The weight of life begins to fall upon you.

Parents would start noticing your change in behaviour or character and start questioning you and you vice versa, and now with a job behind your back you have the grit to talk back and spill-out some toxic words.

(note: Try to be very careful during these times, a small word can set off a storm inside your home, my kind suggestions are that you bite your tongue and hold it down. Also communicate more during this stage, that helps a bit.)

Slowly day by day work would get hold of you and the little things you enjoyed doing so much like hanging out with your people or reading a book or even watching a TV show will begin to decrease.

You’re not too immature to let go of your job or you don’t have anywhere else to go.

You know you have Endure this.

The fallout.

Sledge hammer’s effect doesn’t stop there. It ends up screwing your whole system you’ve struggled to setup so many years.

(Note: I really hope parents would stop telling their children that after 12^th it will all be great, after college no one will question you, you will have full freedom when you have a job-No! This has to stop, future parents, please tell your child how it will be actually and don’t enforce your wishes upon them.)

The job’s system begins to eat into your health, fitness, hobbies, relationships and more.

The first apparent consequence would be broken and misunderstood friendships. Once the texts used to run till 3 in the morning not its stopped at ‘good morning’ and seen. Almost all your friends are working and busy. Yes, they’re busy with their job, but our minds and hearts choose to ignore this.  Imaginations run wild and friendships break, the break up too isn’t so elegant, Facebook and WhatsApp statuses are your proof for that.  This isn’t something you’d have expected from your friend or vice versa. A small communication and this all could’ve been avoided, but life’s a bitch isn’t it?

Next one would affect you more personally- your health.

People will start noticing your change of shape be it increasing or decreasing, you will be noticed for this. People will start making comments about how you’re beginning to change, even the ones who know your work lifestyle. Though laziness on your part is also a factor for bad health, you can help it. Everyone you know is on a diet or is doing some workout and you’d have no other go but to fall into stream. You end up eating things you’d have never thought you’d eat but That’s not going to help much either. This is the part where most people are most confused.

 Your hobbies, your amusements the things you did for fun slowly begin to fade out into thin air. You frequently begin to second guess yourself and become more cautious. The carefree, joyful attitude is gone.

 Slowly the base of your personality begins to shake up.

The sliver of hope.

When you look a year back into the past where you thought you we’re having the worst phase of life, you’ll find yourself laughing and proud of yourself.

If you wish this change can be called as ‘Growing up’ or ‘Being responsible’.

Every time you face a problem you don’t try to run away from it, instead you try to find a solution by yourself or with some help, and yes this can definitely lead to some failures and ultimately serve as a lesson for future.

Your hard work would definitely pay off as incentives or hikes or some other positive news.

You would have to push yourself further and further every day but in the end you will reap the prosperity.

Now that you have somewhat understood how life can work you will have the courage and stand face first towards the problem show your chest. You can take it all in and still come up successful.

Life will move on. Life has to.

Idhuvum Kadanthu pogum.

A Special shout out to people who have come this far, and sacrificing so many things doing so.

P.s. I’ve tried my best to convey what most people fell after getting into a job right after college if you’d like to add or change something kindly do so in the comments, also people who are further experienced than I am, bestow us with your wisdom.

~Experience=Wisdom?

P.P.S Bear with the typos and grammatical errors. Thanks.