la réalité de vivre

I finished with the following line a year back on 2015, April 2 on my post titled Joie De Vivre.

“Now I, the writer of this post, is standing after previous line in life, in reality.

If I'm still writing after four years, maybe I'll tell you what happens after this.”

When I wrote this post I hoped to come back after 4 years only. I thought 4 years would be an appropriate time interval for some significant changes to take place, I thought nothing much would change for at least a year or two.

Wow, I’ve never been so wrong in my life.

That ‘wow’ is merely an understatement of the changes that have taken place.

The next 12 months we’re a roller coaster of changes, paradigm shifts, ideal revolutions and transformations that would hopefully serve as a launch pad for greater life.

The Job Quest

After the exams you’d have a 2-month buffer period to stretch out a bit.

People who have been already placed in begin their months long wait, looking at their mailboxes and post-box every now and then.

Those haven’t, begin their hunt for job.

(note: I won’t be writing about people who are pursuing a post graduate degree since I have no means to know what they experience. Hope you people do well.)

Hunting for a job is one of the most eye-opening experiences in your life. You might’ve been one of the most admired seniors of your juniors, or one of the most respected student in your class. None of that matters. You’re a person who finished his degree and waiting to get placed and at the company’s mercy. You’re basically an unemployed person. Depending on your major you’d want to choose your IT company, and- oh yeah core jobs are a dream for many, even If you get one, the pay would make you cringe.

Those who got a good paying core job, bless you.

People who are fortunate to get a job within a few weeks of results have been spared of the chagrin and dismay of being unemployed.

Those who we’re unfortunate enough not to get a job within the first 6 months are put through 7 circles of unemployment hell. Opprobrious words will be heard and disgrace will fall upon you slowly. Most parents support you but you will be eye-candy for your relatives. They will pick you apart in functions and through phone calls, which will start reflecting in your parent’s face over time. You can’t blame them though. After going through so many pitfalls and breaking multiple barriers you end up in a job eventually.

In between, there are people like me. We have tried our hand at everything. Post graduate preparations, actions for abroad studies, start-up efforts, thoughts to shun the degree and follow passion and more.

(note: I prepared for Local and Abroad post graduate degrees, succeeded in achieving a good score for the local PG but left to do a job in IT. I also had thoughts of doing a degree for my passion, but hey, life happens)

If you believe that your life is set, then you’re in for a big surprise.

Welcome to real life – The job-honeymoon chunk.

This part is the best part of any job, the first 2 months.  It will a different kind of joy when you receive your first salary. One of those Goundamani dialogues flashes past in my mind’s eye. Well yes you do feel like buying everything you see. You gift parents, even your siblings. You feel like someone attached a pair of wings and added in a jetpack. You meet, greet and treat all your friends.

You’ll love your job; you’ll always be talking about it. You’ll love everybody in the job, your colleagues would be the coolest people you know. The days would seem like a scene out of a spring day in cartoons with all the slow motion singing, flowers blooming and stuff.

The first 2 months of job would go in a bliss of joy.  Salaries would be totally emptied on stuff you wished to buy for a long time. You hope to find all those relatives and ask them to shove it—uh no. Life will be fun.

Welcome to real life – The sledge hammer.

Why have I named this part The sledge hammer?

Kevin spacey says this to the protagonist in a movie, “Wanting people to listen, you can't just tap them on the shoulder anymore. You have to hit them with a sledgehammer, and then you'll notice you've got their strict attention.”

This is exactly what life does to you. Life begins to show its true colours right when you begin college, if you had learnt the knacks and the tricks of life, you’re somewhat safe from its unexpected smack downs. But keep on ignoring the signs and symbols, the fact that life is not a nice person will hit you harder than you imagine. A normal day might end up very differently. This one day can break the person that you’re. This one day is your sledge hammer.

You never know what will happen, you simply might’ve been not able to reply a text to your best friend since you we’re in office caught up in work. He or she might think that you have changed you don’t need them anymore, while the truth is otherwise, a month later you’d start noticing your friend doesn’t talk to you anymore, yeah it takes a month to notice, by then all is done. Relationships break in a matter of few minutes.

There is one other thing that you’ll realize, politics is real, very real. Not only in office but also in real life. However noble you might be you will be pulled into this cesspool and asked to be a part of it, wait, you will be forced to be a part of it.

By this time waking up every day and pushing yourself to work would be strenuous task. The weight of life begins to fall upon you.

Parents would start noticing your change in behaviour or character and start questioning you and you vice versa, and now with a job behind your back you have the grit to talk back and spill-out some toxic words.

(note: Try to be very careful during these times, a small word can set off a storm inside your home, my kind suggestions are that you bite your tongue and hold it down. Also communicate more during this stage, that helps a bit.)

Slowly day by day work would get hold of you and the little things you enjoyed doing so much like hanging out with your people or reading a book or even watching a TV show will begin to decrease.

You’re not too immature to let go of your job or you don’t have anywhere else to go.

You know you have Endure this.

The fallout.

Sledge hammer’s effect doesn’t stop there. It ends up screwing your whole system you’ve struggled to setup so many years.

(Note: I really hope parents would stop telling their children that after 12^th it will all be great, after college no one will question you, you will have full freedom when you have a job-No! This has to stop, future parents, please tell your child how it will be actually and don’t enforce your wishes upon them.)

The job’s system begins to eat into your health, fitness, hobbies, relationships and more.

The first apparent consequence would be broken and misunderstood friendships. Once the texts used to run till 3 in the morning not its stopped at ‘good morning’ and seen. Almost all your friends are working and busy. Yes, they’re busy with their job, but our minds and hearts choose to ignore this.  Imaginations run wild and friendships break, the break up too isn’t so elegant, Facebook and WhatsApp statuses are your proof for that.  This isn’t something you’d have expected from your friend or vice versa. A small communication and this all could’ve been avoided, but life’s a bitch isn’t it?

Next one would affect you more personally- your health.

People will start noticing your change of shape be it increasing or decreasing, you will be noticed for this. People will start making comments about how you’re beginning to change, even the ones who know your work lifestyle. Though laziness on your part is also a factor for bad health, you can help it. Everyone you know is on a diet or is doing some workout and you’d have no other go but to fall into stream. You end up eating things you’d have never thought you’d eat but That’s not going to help much either. This is the part where most people are most confused.

 Your hobbies, your amusements the things you did for fun slowly begin to fade out into thin air. You frequently begin to second guess yourself and become more cautious. The carefree, joyful attitude is gone.

 Slowly the base of your personality begins to shake up.

The sliver of hope.

When you look a year back into the past where you thought you we’re having the worst phase of life, you’ll find yourself laughing and proud of yourself.

If you wish this change can be called as ‘Growing up’ or ‘Being responsible’.

Every time you face a problem you don’t try to run away from it, instead you try to find a solution by yourself or with some help, and yes this can definitely lead to some failures and ultimately serve as a lesson for future.

Your hard work would definitely pay off as incentives or hikes or some other positive news.

You would have to push yourself further and further every day but in the end you will reap the prosperity.

Now that you have somewhat understood how life can work you will have the courage and stand face first towards the problem show your chest. You can take it all in and still come up successful.

Life will move on. Life has to.

Idhuvum Kadanthu pogum.

A Special shout out to people who have come this far, and sacrificing so many things doing so.

P.s. I’ve tried my best to convey what most people fell after getting into a job right after college if you’d like to add or change something kindly do so in the comments, also people who are further experienced than I am, bestow us with your wisdom.

~Experience=Wisdom?

P.P.S Bear with the typos and grammatical errors. Thanks.

The post where I show my Gratitude.

All those idiots,
Screwed me over and over,
Made me wait for hours, and be on time never,
Made me pay for, not my mistakes and food I didn't eat,
Always trying to make a fool outta me,
Join with strangers to laugh with glee,
But unbroke my heart unlike others,
And other few comparable to mothers,
Their faces are a reminder of how screwed up I am,
and also how worse I could've been,
Yes, they're selfish, but only for Selfies,
I know I owe them everything,
But these morons, would never let you have anything,
alone,
They are the best headache you could get,
Though make sure you're not taken to a vet,
You'd never get a loan, but it is always mine to take,
Just make sure they aren't fake.
I want to thank you all, but my heart says no,
For you're my friends forever which is what I know.

~To all :D

The Growing-Up Post.

The storm has passed away,
Be strong heart, this isn't the time to sway,
Do not forget the people who bent,
For the greater place you're being sent,
Success isn't always the bright side,
But never let the light out of your sight,
Fight, Fight, Fight, but make sure you're right,
Past is a demon that wouldn't let you go,
Have courage as your beau,
and Boldness aside as your belle,
Have no weakness that the world can tell,
Compassion is the only character to be shown,
Fear is the only thing that shouldn't be sown,
Your hardwork has lead you here,
Never let your feelings sear,
It is always okay to be queer,
Always be courteous to your peer,
Have some on to be your dear,
Never, ever, ever, Let go of that glorious Fire.

~Never ever

The 100-rupee post.

We, as teenagers and young adults live off our social life with the 'Pocket money' from our parents.
Be it the 3G data pack you activate every 28 days (cause 30-day month is too mainstream for telecom idiots) or the sub-veg you pay so generously for.

Our staple pocket money ranges anywhere from 500 to 3000 per month depending upon your parents mood then, your marks(!) and the credibility of your reason to spend the above said money

We (read ME) give out some fantastic reasons to get some money out of their pockets. We would’ve have gone so far that we’ve created and killed characters, severely injured our friends, went on non-existent field trips, paid for courses we never attended, over paid our courses, fined ourselves and what not?

Yeah, yeah we know the value of money (rolling eyes) and we want to spend less. But there are days where a single 100-rupee note would have saved our lives from acute hunger or great embarrassment.

But have we wondered what a 100-rupee note could get you in the city? It doesn’t fetch much these days, but here is what you could bargain off a 100-rupee note in the metros.

-A one-day pass of 50 rupees to travel within the city limits in MTC bus. IT can also fetch you tickets within the outskirts of the city.

-A share auto to places unreachable by public transport and these are usually within 30 rupees.

-A normal auto to reach those destinations quickly. Sometimes it may go above 100 bar but you’ve got to be crazy for that.

-Do not forget Train Tickets!

-Your phone’s recharge. 10 rupees to 100 rupees. You choose.

-Movie tickets if you feel you’re not generous enough that day. 10, 50, 70 ,80 the rates vary with theatre (pathu rooba ticket na sema mass)

-Your popular chaats like samosa, bhel poori, kachodi, pakoda, paav bhaji etc. all come somewhere between 10 to 50 rupees.

-Paani pooris! I’m specially mentioning this cause I’ve seen paani poori ranging from 5 rupees to 60 rupees per plate. There is something in those rasam filled globes.

-Soups and juices, those are just delights that you’d love to indulge yourself at any time. They are usually charged from 10 to 80 rupees per glass with juice being the on the costlier side.

-You know a tummy full breakfast or lunch can be achieved from AMMA mess. A sambar rice packet costs 5 rupees (be jealous other states!). Cost of a full meal 20 bucks only.

-And also an AMMA water bottle costs 10 rupees.

-A Quarter bottle of alcohol costs 70 rupees and above, depending upon you and your friends’ purse weight.

-Go Pondy bazaar or T-nagar and you could grab some good looking (underline good looking) T-shirts, shoes and wallets.

-Girls can go binge shopping all day in Ranganathan street with a 100-rupee note. Jimikis, chains, earrings, bangles, anklets, purses, handbags and more are available starting from 5 rupees. Though men beware, more chances that you’d be spending a few hundreds if it’s your beau.

-A hour of internet browsing at your café will usually cost 30 rupees these days.

-Few packets of your favorite 2 minute noodles can be bought with a 100-rupee note.

-Those munchies you love but they come with lot of air costs only 5 rupees.

-Your data pack for a week.

-Those excellent parotas that cost around 10 rupees per piece.

-Almost 1 ¼ liter petrol for your beloved bike.

-If you’re interested much a session of gaming in your local place costs 30 to 100 rupees.

-An second hand Novel is usually under 100 rupees.

-You could get your hair cut and also your face shaved for 100 rupees.

-Our beloved traffic police men who hold you back for no obvious reason are soothed by a 100 rupees.

Now you must wonder why I’ve given this obscure list of things and prices you already know, because today I saw a kid of ~8 age selling some worn out vegetables for money. I’m sure he was not one of those scammers, he was honestly helpless and hungry. At that moment I wished I was not a bit selfish and also I had an extra hundred rupees.

I just wanted to put through that we can spend our money more sensibly and responsibly.

~Money Matters

Joie de Vivre

After three grueling months of work and pressure I return to the world of writing. Yes, I don't have many followers but I'm stating this for future references when I've accomplished enough.

So this is period in life for the people of my age, it must be hard to endure, hard to persevere and hard to think ahead.
I'm 22 years old and if you are in my age range you'd get me or pretty much what I'm trying to put through. Right now I'm not a fully matured Adult or a Teenager. I'm something/someone stuck between sprout and a tree.

The point I'm building up to, is to talk about one of the most important life decisions which we've already taken or been forced to take. As an Indian, a Son and a Human I was given a buffet of options, which later, I came to know that it was an illusion of choice. We all know what I'm talking about.
Yes, Engineering.

According to Dictionary.com the word "Engineering" Means,
1.The art or science of making practical application of the knowledge of pure sciences, as physics or  chemistry, as in the construction of engines, bridges, buildings, mines, ships, and chemical plants.
2. The action, work, or profession of an engineer.
3. Skillful or artful contrivance; maneuvering.

But, I can assure you that the first definition applies to those who are really into it, really really into Engineering and knowing how stuff works and shit. All others can kiss book knowledge goodbye.

The second definition on the other hand will be subtly induced into you in your four year journey.
The most of them won't realize it will come in handy when you're pushed into the real world ocean with sharks.

The third definition will apply to anyone who is put through this Engineering.

Note: I'm not trying to debase or shame Engineering, but rather to bring what really happens in Engineering colleges that are not well established or well known.

Every Engineer knows that he/she has to go through engineering for four years. Four Incredibly short years.

The First year or The Initiation.
This is the year where most of your dreams emulated by movies and serials you've seen on TV come to your mind. But the reality hits you hard in 2 weeks of college. You will be torn between becoming a good student if you were a bad one at school or to continue what you did in school.
If you're a good kid then your pressure will be increased 10 folds to show your talent and integrity to your new Professors (note: we stopped calling 'em teachers)
You will fail badly trying to acclimatize and adapt to your new surroundings. Your food will taste bad, you will be frustrated to meet ends, you will miss your school friends, sometimes your school itself. A small paranoia sets in as almost everyone who you see gives you clues and cues about how to handle college. You will be a bit concerned about how to handle yourself with your seniors, Professors and new friends, everyone you meet will be a stranger. The first year quickly floats away into the past with you making new friends, a gang, a tad more experience, fear of semester exams and a string of hope but you're still in the Land of Nowheredom.

The Second Year or The Realization.
 You've been forcefully pushed into the second year of Engineering. You enter the college premises, slightly miffed by its intimidating aspect of morale. You now know how the college machine works. And sadly, you're one of the cogs in the machine. You begin to realize that you're stuck in this Machine for another 2 and half years, which seems like a long time. Now a bit bold, you begin to realize people who they really are. You still have problems adjusting to college life but you know you can handle it. Your results would've been surprising, either shockingly bad or sweetly good. You will be confused whether to continue studying or keep depending upon lady luck.
Now, naturally your eyes begin to search for an opposite sex and eventually you find one by the end of the year for your friends to tease you into love. It’s up to you to choose that. Now most of your first year friendships are dissolved and you find yourself slowly drifting towards people of your liking and where you're liked. At this phase almost every student develops a Love/hate relationship with the college, engineering and professors, if possible the subjects.
By the end of the year you stand with new hangout places, newer friends, some enmity/love, a few backlogs if that's your thing and importantly a pride that you're an Engineer.

The Third year or The Transformation
Now all of your friends are in transition stage. Your school best friends begin to move farther away with only a few in contact though suddenly out of nowhere a WhatsApp group rises reminding you of your old school memories. You begin to meet your school teachers and friends randomly on streets. Your friendships with your not-so-close school friends begin to bloom out of nowhere. During this year you learn some new habits which I personally forbid you from learning, though it'd be a good experience to have it with in your limits, don't get into trouble. The college routine is nothing new to you now and you've adapted to the system. People know you well enough to identify you, and identifications are by your actions and name you've gained so far. Seniors and Professors become closer to you. You gain some fame in your department (note: It becomes department centric once you begin to feel home) in one way or another, be it your talent or the rumors around you. A small sense of responsibility creeps through your childish facade. You begin to wonder but not worry about your future, yet. Your Good/bad results begin to become the center of your concerns. Your seniors get placed or move to their native city or go abroad for further studies and the peer pressure begins to build up. In the second half of third year you might probably get into a case of getting caught for a mass bunk or some other mischief you've done with "your gang". The sense of being an engineer fades away into the void when you get the glimpse of the real world outside via your other college friends. You see that they've already learnt three extracurricular courses, attended few conferences and maybe published a paper. Facebook glorifies their sense of enjoyment and your sense of depression, while their cultural happen for days together, yours barely happen for hours. The paranoia comes rushing back to you. It slowly dawns on you that the damage was already done and the flood will be soon over your head. By the end semester you're left standing at the precipice of the cliff holding your breath.

The Fourth Year or The Salvation.
Now you're out of the Machine, you're not bounded by the cogs, not forced by the system, which is what makes it more dangerous for you to survive out there. You're left in the open, left vulnerable, Left to die.
I might sound over dramatic or exaggerating but this is what it exactly feels to be amidst a group of humans your age being better than you in talent, intelligence and experience.
Hyper panic sets in, and your mind undergoes a psychological change which make or break your future. The change is totally dependent upon you and your mind. You begin to work towards that change, whatever it might be. Parents, neighbors and relatives begin to irk you every time you see them.
But between all this there will be sudden burst of friendship between all your friends, be it school or college, emotions begin to pour in from all sides.
You witness some crazy stuff all over, stupid and serious ass confessions, new relationships, new breakups and everything that squeezes you from inside. You will go on sudden trips or tours to places and have a bucket load of fun. (Note: do not miss this part, you'll never get it later in life)
Your exam results are the reminder of what you've done till now, they'll be the regret or pride for you in the coming months.
You somehow finish your project and wait for the final verdict.
The professors pardon you, mostly. Your juniors might miss you, and you will not miss your college.
It’s the reality. You haven't really missed your school for 2 years now, and you won't miss your college that much.
The future will definitely be uncertain, you might have backlogs to complete or jobs to hunt for or sit home waiting for the offer letter from the only company you got miraculously placed in.
Life will become harder.

Now I, the writer of this post, is standing after previous line in life, in reality.
If I'm still writing after four years, maybe I'll tell you what happens after this.

To Be Continued...
That had to be said. Thank you.

~Thank you for everything.