Recently I witnessed two events, two very significant events in my life.
First there was this
unarranged Marriage of a close ring relative.
and we(or rather I) shall talk about it in this post.
Marriage according to me is an agreement of companionship, if not till the end, at least till the magic and logic fades out.
Being an Indian, a Hindu, and a Male and having semi-orthodox parents, I grew up knowing the importance, cause and effects of typical marriages types.
This Particular event was the marriage of a very well know relative of ours whose marriage I expected to be Grandeur at one of palatial halls in the city. But it did not happen so. The marriage happened in a small temple in the outskirts of the city with very little relatives and few friends. I did not see a single face that was honestly and sincerely happy there. I realised that they were all disappointed at the choice of the Groom's Bride for himself. Added to this the Bride's parents were not present for the event.
But we could not blame anyone here, not a single person.
Everyone has their own legitimate reason to act and be like this.
First off, parents have a lot of faith and expectations on us, screw them and you're screwed.
They always work for our good and betterment though sometimes a bit of social fear clouds their judgement for good.
and as children we do a lot of stuff that disheartens them to a great extent. But we don't take a moment to consider the, even if we do, we reason ourselves that our decision is the best.
But let us see all this rationally. Do parents and relatives see us as an investment of their hardwork and as a redemption for the mistakes they made in their past?
Well, the answer would be Yes and No.
Yes is for,partly they raise us in the prospect that we shall fulfill their unfulfilled wishes from their childhood and/or the ones they conceived and constructed on the way to adulthood and parenthood.
No is when they realise that some of those wishes become obsolete with time and we might have achieved something better than that.
But still most of previous-gen parents are biased against unarranged marriage. Society and its fear being one of the major reasons for this partiality. But there are times where their decision becomes wrong.
Very Arranged marriages have gone mortally wrong, becoming fatal.
there are successful Unarranged marriages also.
Now to the point. Is Unarranged Marriage such a blunder that it is detested so badly?!
NO.
But it is not right as well. Right as in not telling our parents where it matters. Making them acknowledging your decision is not what that matters, but making them accepting does.
And as for parents, times have changed. Children are more mature and advanced as compared to when you were this age. The only thing we all lack is communication. Establishing communication is winning.
Win for all.
~līf
